I am worthy is the phrase I couldn’t quite bring myself to say six months ago. I still struggle with it. Six months of EMDR therapy later, my therapist asked me if the phrase fit. No. I am free. Not quite worthy, but in that moment, being free was enough. But why can’t I be worthy?
I suppose it depends on what we’re worthy of, says my brain, but that doesn’t sit right. Surely if we’re worthy, we’re worthy of everything. Being worthy doesn’t mean receiving that thing. It just means we’re deserving of stuff. Then again, I don’t think anyone is worthy of a private jet so maybe it does depend. The stuff I’m after, I struggle to see how anyone could be unworthy except when I look at myself.